unmentionables

 No, not underwear, although I did finally go ahead and buy some that weren't cotton two years ago. (Seriously, that little bit of cloth wasn't going to ever cause me to freeze to death. When I did finally get some nylon, they still came in a colorful multipack.) This is actually going to be about something that takes a lot more to get past my Puritan ancestry to talk about, but the taboo really doesn't have any logical support and the consequences of it reach into the comfort and health of a large portion of the population. This will be about female urinary devices and menstrual cups. The fellas can end reading here, but you might learn something that helps out a friend later. The women who have already sorted out something they're comfortable with probably won't find new information here.

Female urinary devices

There is a better way. There seems to be a large number who will tell you, "Just pull down your pants! It's easy!" There is a better way. I've also bumped into more than one who felt the need to get one pant leg all the way off to keep from pissing on their clothing. There is a much better way. Also, there may be a technique problem for those times when you are still forced to pull down your trousers... If you pull them as far away from your nethers as you can, right down to your ankles, then they are close again when you actually squat down. Only pull down to your knees, which also allows you to get your feet apart and pant cuffs away from the stream. I'm not sure if that helps or not, but there is a better way anyway. Over the years, I've met two women who were enthusiastic enough to just tell random strangers that they met that they should get something and never have to squat again because they really wanted everyone to know that there is a better way. That last is the group I agree with.

A female urinary device is a thing to allow you to pee with your pants on. You don't have to get your butt out, exposed to cold, mosquitoes, and anyone who might come along when there's no way to get far enough off the trail and you really need to go. You don't have to squat. You just get out the device, adjust things, and let it go.

There's a lot of them. Here is partial list. They tend to be funnels or channels. When I decided to try something, I went with a channel similar to the one in the #3 place. The funnels can be found in hard and soft versions. I suspected the soft ones would be difficult to handle and the one on the list linked is in last place, even after the general purpose funnel from an automotive store. The hard funnels looked like they might get overwhelmed, but it turns out that is a mutual problem with them and the channels. They don't mention the modified single use water bottle that is undoubtedly the cheapest way to go.

I got a "Venus to Mars" which comes with a little water resistant bag, too. I believe it's said to be slightly narrower than the Pstyle with a similar design. I didn't try it out in the shower first, as so many suggest. I just ducked behind a tree on the trail and experimented, risking unsightly wet patches. I didn't get any unsightly wet patches, but it did take a bit of time to convince my muscles that it was alright to go. It actually took about a dozen uses before finding out that it isn't fool proof. Like I said above, it can get overwhelmed if I go too fast. That has gotten my fingers wet once or twice (ew!) but is preventable by simply holding back a little. Once, in the dark, it seemed like there wasn't quite enough liquid coming out the end and it turned out I hadn't got it placed quite right, and resulted in an embarrassing wet patch. No one saw. I take that little fraction of a second to be sure now. I forgot to transfer it from dispersed camping supplies to my pack a few times, so I got a second because I'd really rather not be hiking without it now.

Since polls show a little over 50% of women use toilet paper after peeing while hiking, I expect a few have difficulty with the thought of how to wipe. You don't, you scrape. You do have a little opening to squirt in a little water for cleaning and a channel to let it flow away, if you want to go the bidet way, but then you probably finish it of with a scrape of the liquid. If you go through reviews of a few, you'll find some people who have decided to use these at home, too, just for the reduction in waste of not having to use toilet paper.

Menstrual cups

Again, there's detractors saying that you can just get birth control pills to stop menstruation. I'm sure it works great for some. For others, it doesn't work at all or it comes with side effects that are unacceptable. Sometimes it's just not certain enough. Changes in altitude can lead to changes in menstrual cycle. This can be earlier, longer, heavier. I had one camp counselor who had been having her period for 30 days straight, as a rather extreme example.  If you can just take a pill (or something even easier) and be done with it, count your blessings. For the rest (or even those for whom it works, but want to try the reproduction thing) menstruation is a fact of life.

Menstrual cups have been around since the 1970s, so I'm a bit annoyed that nobody bothered to tell me about them. It is basically a reusable tampon. I weighed my period supplies for a trip over a week long once and it was a pound. I didn't measure it after, but it had certainly gained. If I had a menstrual cup, that would have been a few ounces plus a pad or two (which come in reusable versions too) with no worries of ever running out. That's particularly important to me since the unstated reason I cut a trip short, leaving San Gorgonio Mountain off my climbed list, was that my period started two days early. Thanks body. Usually I am overprepared and can handle it, but not that trip.

They are generally made of silicone and hold the menses until removed. There are some complaints that they are messy. I find that tampons can be just as messy, particularly during the first, annoyingly heavy part of my period. It'll start off slow, but after 10 hours become quite heavy and there can be a bunch of material behind the tampon that just hadn't got around to leaking yet. The cup will hold more, so I can dump it every 3 hours instead of change it every 2. Still messy, but fewer dealings. After the heavy time, generally just for a morning, there's still fewer times I need to deal with it.

I first got one when preparing my gear for long term camping since I wanted to have the least possible number of things that run out. I tried it well in advance of leaving and I'm glad I did because it is less fool proof than the urinary device. Maybe I should have actually watched some Youtube videos or similar. There's a lot of them, but I do hate sitting through them. I first tried one like the one on the bottom, which is a common style found from many sources. I had trouble with it as it always leaked a little and was difficult to remove. (There's a technique to it. There's Youtube videos and blog posts to tell you about it if you like. Basically, push! I use the tails, too. A lot of these people cut them off automatically, but I don't think I'd be able to use one without them.) I then got the much more flexible one pictured on top. (Actually, it's slightly larger twin.) This one was more fiddly, so I could get it very wrong, but most the time it worked perfectly. After a while, I tried the one like the bottom again and it worked reliably and without being fiddly. The difference between the first try and the second? Don't know. Technique? Learned to relax?

The best part is that I've never had to buy a tampon since. I even got rid of the ones I had left. Since these were about $10 for two, I was saving money after about 4 months. And the lack of waste! The beautiful lack of waste! The delight in not having to deal with a stinking trash can. When backpacking or even just hiking, not having to deal with an ever heavier trash bag. Oh, and never worrying about running out. And not dreading the extra weight of being prepared.

There are also reusable pads. They are not remotely as easy to clean for the next use and tend to weigh more and I haven't found them to be as reliable as I'd like, but they exist. I haven't given them anywhere near the chance I gave the menstrual cups yet. However, if that's your thing, there's a path to less trash and fewer trips to buy yet more supplies and maybe even ultimate savings for you too.